Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I met the friendliest cop last night
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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