Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
