can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
