Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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