I CAN MOONWALK!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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