Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
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