took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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