Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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