so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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