i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
