do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm at about main and main street
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
