so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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