I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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