what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
