do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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