Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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