How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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