I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
