420 ftw
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
