maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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