I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
