I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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