My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
