So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
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Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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