hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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