I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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