Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
someone owes me an orgasm
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
