What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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