She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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