i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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