We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
