I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
