Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
