plz talk dirty to me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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