How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize