He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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