But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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