We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
