Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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