i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
