how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
