she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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