at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
