so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
