I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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