last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's official drugs can't kill me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
