You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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