I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
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If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
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Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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