You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize