If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
