it was like eating out sand paper
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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