Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
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There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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