just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
