Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
