Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
