Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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