He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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