I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
